All at once and at the time all the same,
the record of your presence was overridden
by the suddenness of my pretence
that your absence, palpable pallid pained,
the quick rip strip us of our flippancy and hose us down with reality
sandblasted the hard layer of skin built up to survive this,
left welts and welling up of eyes
to salt a skin already stinging from the roughness of it,
the bare faced life’s a bitchness of it.
It was a happening of sorts too brittle and unkind,
too childish in its explanation and too adult in its finality,
there was no just to it and certainly no justice
just ice cold clarity of day to be company to loneliness of it.
Did you know? Was it seen coming, like the eyes caught look
and ears caught sound? Did you schedule in the weeping
as the only way in keeping it together?
of course you did, of course and yet not,
because no one wants to see this scar tissue before its formed,
no one wants to see it now
its very existence hidden beneath layers and layers
of fines oks copings that were really broken denied it can’t be’s,
that all of sudden were all you had to stop yourself from losing it,
already lost it, unfound answers and startled to the now pain.
All of a sudden but long since confirmed,
all of a sudden and still going
all of a sudden and left flailing fleeing lost
all of a…